Saturday, 17 December 2011
Why am I doing this?
Why am I doing this? Grasping at any treatment on offer even if it may be a placebo drug?
In the hope that it will not be the placebo and make things better.
In truth the best outcome will be to buy a bit of time.
Who knows how long this time might be? So why am I doing it?
I look at Alan
So big, so strong, comforting and caring.
Making sure everything is there for me.
So sad, so fragile - who is supporting him?
Need to keep on 'keeping on' - Alan needs me. We will journey on together.
I look at my grandchildren.
So new and perfect.
So much to learn about this funny old world.
So much to discover.
They have been a the main focus for Alan & I over this last year.
Need to keep on 'keepin on' - Ethan and Lilah need their Nana. We will journey on together.
I look at my boys.
Gentlemen now - so strong and manly, husbands and fathers too. Beautiful wives and children.
We gave them wings that they might fly and they have made us so proud.
They need me to keep them grounded and I need to see more of their story,
Need to keep on 'keepin on' - Jon and Tim still need their mum. We will journey on together.
I look at my wider family and friends.
I have been overwhelmed by their love and support
The letters, cards, emails, blog entries, daily jokes, small unexpected gifts, visits, social network messages, forum messgaes etc.
Need to keep on 'keepin on' - My friends need me to be there for them when they need supporting too and I need them to keep me sane!. We will journey on together.
So that is why. With uncertainty comes hope.
PS Wish I could get that yoga position right - a target -maybe not!